So the tears are pretty much gone. The hardest part was actually going through with it. But he wanted to hang out this afternoon, and I went over there and stayed all afternoon with him because I'm stupid. I guess this is him trying. I don't know. I don't want to not be with him, but if things are the way they were I can't continue to be with him. I'm still single and it's not like we'll be back together tomorrow. But at least it's not completely finished.

So I bit the bullet. I broke up with him. And it hurts more than I imagined. Who knew doing the right thing could be heart-breaking?

I always forget I have this, which would account for the reason why I haven't posted since April. But I've come to the conclusion that sometimes I want to write without everyone I know seeing it. Because only one friend of mine knows I have this, and she doesn't use it anymore...

I can't believe I've been dating the same guy for almost eight months and that I'm considering breaking up with him. Not because he's a bad person. Not because he doesn't make me happy, because he makes me very happy...when we're together, which isn't often. He always has homework or has to study or falls asleep because he's been doing homework or studying, so we don't ever spend any time together. And he lives a ten minute walk away from me. I've been toying with the breakup idea for a while now but just haven't been able to bring myself to any action that would result in me breaking my own heart. The truth is, I don't know what to do. But I'm tired of feeling like I'm the only person in this relationship who gives a damn about it.